October Letter

This year marks the 30th anniversary of the passing of the man I think of when I think about the beauty and benefits of the relationships between seniors and kids.

My Uncle John was not a blood relative but the title of "uncle" was bestowed upon him by my parents and the tradition of calling him that was lovingly carried on by my sister and I for as long as we knew him. He was an exemplarily man and one whose absence in my life is still felt to this day.

Uncle John was a simple man whose social status afforded him few luxuries in this life. Still, everything he had, he shared. An artist by nature, Uncle John painted houses for a living and by the time I was born, had retired. A friend of my father's family for many years, there were stories of him bringing food to my grandfather's house for my father and his young siblings who's lives had been upended by the sudden passing of my grandmother. My grandfather, a bricklayer by trade, found himself suddenly the sole income earner and caregiver to three young children in elementary school and my father, who was 17. Though my father joined my grandfather in the trade, money was scarce. Quietly, and without fanfare, my Uncle John helped where he could, slipping my father money or food in secret as not to hurt my grandfather's pride. Years passed and when my parents met, they spent a lot of time with my Uncle. Uncle John was significantly older than both my mother and father and so fit the role of both friend and parent. My Uncle John was a bachelor and never had any children of his own. When I was born, he became my adopted grandparent and his enthusiasm for the role never waned. Strong and gentle, firm but kind, he was everything that was good and safe about my childhood. He loved ABBA and taught me all the words to "Dancing Queen" and "Fernando". He was a dreamer and taught me to dream big too. He told me that rainbows were placed in the sky just for me. When my parents divorced and my father left town to find work, Uncle John remained the constant and steady presence in our lives. My mom was a homemaker and found it difficult to make ends meet. I remember the year I turned 7, my only present was from him. Uncle John would faithfully visit every weekend and take us out of the house for Sunday drives and Tim Horton's donuts. Those were precious times to me and ignited my passion for road trips and my deep love for the wildflower fields of summertime in Lanark County. He was proud of our accomplishments, loving, affectionate and overindulging as all good grandparents are. We were spoiled rotten with affection and mint chocolate ice cream. He insisted that my sister and I remember our manners, especially when we were out in public. He was stern in the most gentle of ways, and I can still hear the warning tone in his voice that signalled when my rebellious nature had pushed him a little too far. I never wanted to disappoint him and it was my deep adoration, not fear of consequence that guided my actions and decisions as I began to grow.

Uncle John died when I was 9.

Bone cancer diagnosed late and progressed quickly and though I remember the last time I saw him, I did not know what saying goodbye meant. If I knew then, what I know now, I am sure I would have taken the time to memorize his face, and tell him what a giant he had been in my life. As was his last wish, we left the hospital that day confident in the knowledge that he would always be around. True to his word, in many ways he still is.

The reason I share this story about my beloved Uncle is to highlight the importance of intergenerational relationships for kids. I can say without a doubt, that my life has been enriched by the short period of time that I enjoyed my Uncle John's love, mentorship and guidance in my life. I do not know who I would be without his positive influence on my childhood. Here at SKIP, our focus continues to be the facilitation of programming that provides opportunities for seniors and kids to enrich each other's lives. SKIP Streams is one of the ways that we are doing this. As programming adapts in light of the current crisis, be assured that although the delivery of our programs may change, the passion behind the programs will not. We remain steadfast in our desire to strengthen individuals and the community by offering ways for multiple generations to connect. It is so important and is a necessary component to happier people and stronger communities.

With love,

Tina